this girl’s a silhouette, can't you see?

This girl is the wild smile, the icy stare She’s the crackle of the static, she’s the curses, she’s the prayers... This girl is the shaking hand, the rattling cup With a button and a note saying things are looking up. -------- Larabelle. 26. Australian. Music. Art. Cosplay. Steampunk. Sci-fi. Anxiety. Broken but okay. Lost but being found. Still learning who I am, and why I'm here.
{ wear }
Posts tagged "personal"

Yo so I missed like, two or three of these. But such is life. Trying not to stress about these things :p
* highlight- reaching more people with my lettering, that’s pretty sweet. Also holidays and crafting and New Year’s Eve was beautiful and I have baby ferrets. So much win this week.
* lowlight- I’ve lost all sense of fitness motivation… But not letting that hold me back next week!
* listening- Ben Howard
* reading- Summer Falls and other stories (the new doctor who book), Fiddkehead by Cherie Priest
* watching- once upon a time season 1 rewatch, futurama, really old Disney movies
* fitness- nope not this week! I mean, I’m doing a lot of walking, into town and stuff. But no gym or running :( I was 70.1kg on the 1st.
* 30 b4 30- celebrating my 5th anniversary by renewing my vows next week. Excite.
* focus area next week - Crafting for photos on Sunday, lots of lettering. Back to work and back to gym!!

  • 1: What did you do in 2013 that you’d never done before?
  • Got back down to 62kg (for a short while). Started running for fun. Run over 5km just because. Lived completely alone for a few months. Saw penguins come out of the sea and onto the beach. Made money from my lettering. Carved a pumpkin for Halloween. Went two months without biting or picking my nails, and am still growing them even now!! Also got a tattoo!!
  • 2: Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
  • My priorities changed a lot this year... My resolutions made last year were made in a place of confusion and trying to come to grips with an uncertain future by doing again what I'd done before (but better)... I'm a new woman now, with different goals. I still ticked off some things from my 30before30 goals/resolutions, and I'll definitely make new resolutions this year!!!
  • 3: Did anyone close to you give birth?
  • Yes! Good friend and cousin through marriage had a wee baby girl Abigail!! Also a young couple Sammy used to work with had a baby boy Blayne, and I'm still in touch with the mum via fb and Instagram
  • 4: Did anyone close to you die?
  • Not anyone particularly close to me. Lots of deaths affecting people I know though.
  • 5: What countries did you visit?
  • None. hopefully this is the last year I can say that!!!
  • 6: What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013
  • Travel adventures, definitely!
  • 7: What dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
  • The 11th of January, when Sammy chose not to give up
  • 8: What was your biggest achievement of the year?
  • Coming out the other side of it, despite the emotional fragility of the events this year, now much stronger, fitter, more independent, in a healthy and fun relationship, more stable and happier!
  • 9: What was your biggest failure?
  • Not being there for people that needed me earlier on this year. Disappointing people by not living up to expectations.
  • 10: Did you suffer illness or injury?
  • Nope, barely got a cold! Pretty bad anxiety at the beginning of the year, but aside from the occasional panic attack and my nervous disposition, I'm managing that super well!!
  • 11: What was the best thing you bought?
  • My ipaddddd!!!
  • 12: Whose behaviour merited celebration?
  • My Sammy <3 he's incredible <3
  • 13: Whose behaviour made you appalled?
  • Can I say Steven Moffatt??
  • 14: Where did most of your money go?
  • Food? Haha... Trips to Queensland for weddings... Gifts!
  • 15: What did you get really, really, really excited about?
  • My best friends wedding and my brother-in-laws wedding!!! And my family visiting tas!!!
  • 16: What song will always remind you of 2013?
  • Recover -Chvrches, changing of the seasons -two door cinema, I love it - icona pop (I know it was 2012, but I only got into it around December, and it marks the beginning of what this year meant to me) Good Morning Sunshine -Alex day (woke up to it every morning as an alarm, and it's on my run mix.)
  • 17: Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
  • A) happier, B) fatter ((( not by much though, and not for much longer ;), C) richer I think... Feel just as broke, but our overall situation is one THOUSAND times better than it has been previously.
  • 18: What do you wish you’d done more of?
  • Speaking up, taking opportunities for new experiences, saving money... Also more costuming and photos and maybe filming? Mostly just more Steampunk
  • 19: What do you wish you’d done less of?
  • Procrastination and fluffing about, wasting money.
  • 20: How did you spend Christmas?
  • Relaxed, quiet, with friends of a bit but mostly just the two of us
  • 21: Did you fall in love in 2013?
  • Over and over again with that man I married ;)
  • 22: What was your favourite TV program?
  • Regardless of frustrating decisions of the show-runner, I still love Doctor Who with both my hearts ;)
  • 23: Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
  • I try to never hate people... If anything I've progressed from hating someone this time last year, to not giving her a second thought now.
  • 24: What was the best book you read?
  • I'm honestly unsure! I didn't read many new books this year
  • 25: What was your greatest musical discovery?
  • Possibly Triple J! I'd never listened to it consistently on the radio before, and it's been on opinion my car since hottest 100 2013!! All my great musical discoveries have since come from that! (Chvrches, and oh so many great other songs from various artists!!)
  • 26: What did you want and get?
  • Love and romance back in my life <3 an amazing job. To seemly family.
  • 27: What did you want and not get?
  • My own shop. Travel overseas. To see Sarah.
  • 28: What was your favourite film of this year?
  • Probably the second hobbit! Also loved Great Gatsby... Most of my favourites I was just late to the game with (pitch perfect, easy A, Xmen first class... All came out ages ago. How embarrassing).
  • 29: What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
  • Having an amazingly supportive job, and having learned to be more independent and chill and confident!!
  • 30: How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?
  • Cute. Modest, girly, quirky, cute
  • 31: What kept you sane?
  • Craft projects, cosplaying, alone-time.
  • 32: Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
  • 33: What political issue stirred you the most?
  • Flipping Australian Prime Minister election
  • 34: Who did you miss?
  • My Sisters. My family. My toowoomba friends. My Internet friends.
  • 35: Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.
  • Take every opportunity to see the best in situations and in people, and to delight in the unexpected! Be kind to yourself. Have adventures.
  • 36: Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
  • "All will be well - even after all the promises you've broken to yourself, all will be well - you can ask me how but only time will tell" - All will be well - the Gabe Dixon Band

Actually starting to get properly stressed that I don’t know what to get people for Christmas… :/

I know it’s to about things, but I like to give and to know I’ve made properly happy with my choices in relation to knowing and caring about them as a person,…

And I properly suck at it.

I was going to make things for people… But I just won’t have time to decide, design, and post things home… And shopping is just so hard when I don’t know where to start. Plus sometimes a pour my heart and soul into making special little things for gifts and sometimes they are received with such delight and I am humbled… Other times with such indifference and that makes me cry.

Also many gifts to be posted… So… Practical? Not big or heavy or fragile…

Ugh why so hard.

No weight to report today, no scales!
Sorry this is super late.
* highlight- seeing my best friend from college get married to an awesome guy, at the most beautiful wedding so full of love and sweetness!!! Also catching up with toowoomba people and seeing my sister!!!!
* lowlight- taking time off unpaid = awfully small paycheque
* listening- triple j in the car, and my run mix,
* watching- Miranda!
* fitness- made myself a bit sick running this week, and then had 4 days without my runners! Still managed about 4 sessions of running :)
* 30 b4 30- really just plodding away at paying off the credit card, loan, and saving more.
* focus area next week - paleo whole30 when I get home until Saxons wedding, and try to finish Caitlin’s invites :)

* highlight- bought new runners, a new sports bra, pay was big this week, got my ears pierced for free, saw sarai briefly and saw how happy prac is making her, finished two lettering projects and made a good start on another!!!
* lowlight- besides gym, work, and lettering, I’m finding it hard to get anything else done/have any sort of social life… But I am going to church today!!!
* reading- not much reading this week, mostly just lettering until I’m tired enough to sleep
* listening- triple j in the car, and my run mix - added new songs today!
* watching- seasons 2,3 and 4 of chuck.
* fitness- completed 3 more couch-to-5k sessions, and 3 gym sessions. Didn’t beat last weeks distance, but I managed between 3.5 and 5k every session (mix of walking and running, but running more than walking!!! ). Weight is back up to 70kg :((( Failed on the food front, but I gave myself a serious talk this morning and we’ll see how I go this week.
* 30 b4 30- bought a will kit from the news agents this week! Haven’t opened it, but that’s a start! Also we’ve started budgeting to save for moving overseas in 14months or so, and started research and making a listof places we want to see around the world :)
* focus area next week - no nibbling!!! No sugar!!! I head north on thursday arvo, so I might miss a few running sessions on the weekend, but I need to go for 4-5k every day I’m home. Amy’s wedding this week!!!


10. INFJs are typically better in writing than in verbal communication. If you want to know an INFJ’s true feelings, ask them to write out what they think and feel but don’t expect them to do it, especially if they don’t know you very well.

9. INFJs can often mimic other personality types….

As if there was any doubt I was an INFJ.
All of the above.

And now I’m twenty six.
And truthfully I love it so far.
Weekly wrap up!!

* highlight: my birthday of course! I worked but it was a lovely day, the weather was nice, I got cupcakes at work, jess did my nails, got presents, talked to my family on the phone, dinner and drinks with some friends, and just a gorgeous day all around. Oh and a birthday crown ;)
* lowlight: being away from my family, specifically my sister, for my birthday.
* reading: finished HP & HBP, onto Deathly Hallows
* listening: awesome eclectic YouTube playlist of music :D
* watching: scrubs seasons 3 & 4
* fitness: doing a bit of walking, trying to move outside for 30 mins a day (I have an app for that ;)). But lots of birthday cake.
* ootd: my birthday dress :D… Was gonna upload it, but that’s the thing about using multiple devices… Meh.
* 30 b4 30: starting this weekly update!! Also realised I have until April 5th next year to finish my day zero list, so getting onto that! Wrote a letter for future me, today, to open in 10 years… The trick will be finding it again in 10 years… It was a lovely and interesting exercise.

Focus area for next week- fitness-specifically gym attendance.

For so long I’ve been in denial.

But it’s my birthday on Saturday :)
Ad samwise has a job now that pays enough that we can seriously actually get out debt soon.
And then I have a market on the first weekend of October.
Then a wedding at the end of October.
Then a wedding at the end of November.
Then I get to move in December. Into a house. Where I can host tea parties and dress ups and organise my life a bit better and have space for crafts and maybe get ferrets as well outside maybe…

And I’m just excited

So indulge my little rant-type-thing.

Well not so much a rant. Whatever.

This year, I just don’t know what I want for my birthday. Or I do, I just either don’t know how to ask for it, or don’t expect it to happen if I did.

I guess this is getting older?

This year, as I turn 26, I’d love:

. A new place to rent where there is space to entertain and we are approved to have my cat (but our lease doesn’t run out until Christmas)
. A new bed (but where will we get money for that?)
. To become more adept at grown-up things (that’s something only I can do for myself)
. To afford flights back to Queensland for weddings in October and November
. A party or something, but I can’t afford anything elaborate and the friends I’ve made here are a widely interesting and diverse group of people (who I love dearly, but I can’t imagine them all in the same room? :p)
. I do need an accurate set of bathroom scales.
. A cake made by my sister for me, but she’s so far away :((((( even just to SEE her for my birthday would make my day, but sadly nope.

Seriously, I think i might have enough trinkets. Ill never say no to thoughtful and personal gifts in any form at all (I am a sentimental gifts person) I think that I’ve come to an age where I value experiences so much more.

I want to do endless new things I’ve never done before, with people I truly care about and who truly care for me.

I just need to stop letting things stop me.