Actually starting to get properly stressed that I don’t know what to get people for Christmas… :/
I know it’s to about things, but I like to give and to know I’ve made properly happy with my choices in relation to knowing and caring about them as a person,…
And I properly suck at it.
I was going to make things for people… But I just won’t have time to decide, design, and post things home… And shopping is just so hard when I don’t know where to start. Plus sometimes a pour my heart and soul into making special little things for gifts and sometimes they are received with such delight and I am humbled… Other times with such indifference and that makes me cry.
Also many gifts to be posted… So… Practical? Not big or heavy or fragile…
Ugh why so hard.
No weight to report today, no scales!
Sorry this is super late.
* highlight- seeing my best friend from college get married to an awesome guy, at the most beautiful wedding so full of love and sweetness!!! Also catching up with toowoomba people and seeing my sister!!!!
* lowlight- taking time off unpaid = awfully small paycheque
* listening- triple j in the car, and my run mix,
* watching- Miranda!
* fitness- made myself a bit sick running this week, and then had 4 days without my runners! Still managed about 4 sessions of running :)
* 30 b4 30- really just plodding away at paying off the credit card, loan, and saving more.
* focus area next week - paleo whole30 when I get home until Saxons wedding, and try to finish Caitlin’s invites :)
* highlight- bought new runners, a new sports bra, pay was big this week, got my ears pierced for free, saw sarai briefly and saw how happy prac is making her, finished two lettering projects and made a good start on another!!!
* lowlight- besides gym, work, and lettering, I’m finding it hard to get anything else done/have any sort of social life… But I am going to church today!!!
* reading- not much reading this week, mostly just lettering until I’m tired enough to sleep
* listening- triple j in the car, and my run mix - added new songs today!
* watching- seasons 2,3 and 4 of chuck.
* fitness- completed 3 more couch-to-5k sessions, and 3 gym sessions. Didn’t beat last weeks distance, but I managed between 3.5 and 5k every session (mix of walking and running, but running more than walking!!! ). Weight is back up to 70kg :((( Failed on the food front, but I gave myself a serious talk this morning and we’ll see how I go this week.
* 30 b4 30- bought a will kit from the news agents this week! Haven’t opened it, but that’s a start! Also we’ve started budgeting to save for moving overseas in 14months or so, and started research and making a listof places we want to see around the world :)
* focus area next week - no nibbling!!! No sugar!!! I head north on thursday arvo, so I might miss a few running sessions on the weekend, but I need to go for 4-5k every day I’m home. Amy’s wedding this week!!!
And now I’m twenty six.
And truthfully I love it so far.
Weekly wrap up!!
* highlight: my birthday of course! I worked but it was a lovely day, the weather was nice, I got cupcakes at work, jess did my nails, got presents, talked to my family on the phone, dinner and drinks with some friends, and just a gorgeous day all around. Oh and a birthday crown ;)
* lowlight: being away from my family, specifically my sister, for my birthday.
* reading: finished HP & HBP, onto Deathly Hallows
* listening: awesome eclectic YouTube playlist of music :D
* watching: scrubs seasons 3 & 4
* fitness: doing a bit of walking, trying to move outside for 30 mins a day (I have an app for that ;)). But lots of birthday cake.
* ootd: my birthday dress :D… Was gonna upload it, but that’s the thing about using multiple devices… Meh.
* 30 b4 30: starting this weekly update!! Also realised I have until April 5th next year to finish my day zero list, so getting onto that! Wrote a letter for future me, today, to open in 10 years… The trick will be finding it again in 10 years… It was a lovely and interesting exercise.
Focus area for next week- fitness-specifically gym attendance.
For so long I’ve been in denial.
. NO IT’S NOT JULY
. NO WINTER IS NOT ALMOST OVER
. NO IT’S NOT SPRING
. NO IT’S NOT 15 SATURDAYS TIL CHRISTMAS
. NOPE NOPE NOPE.
But it’s my birthday on Saturday :)
Ad samwise has a job now that pays enough that we can seriously actually get out debt soon.
And then I have a market on the first weekend of October.
Then a wedding at the end of October.
Then a wedding at the end of November.
Then I get to move in December. Into a house. Where I can host tea parties and dress ups and organise my life a bit better and have space for crafts and maybe get ferrets as well outside maybe…
And I’m just excited
So indulge my little rant-type-thing.
Well not so much a rant. Whatever.
This year, I just don’t know what I want for my birthday. Or I do, I just either don’t know how to ask for it, or don’t expect it to happen if I did.
I guess this is getting older?
This year, as I turn 26, I’d love:
. A new place to rent where there is space to entertain and we are approved to have my cat (but our lease doesn’t run out until Christmas)
. A new bed (but where will we get money for that?)
. To become more adept at grown-up things (that’s something only I can do for myself)
. To afford flights back to Queensland for weddings in October and November
. A party or something, but I can’t afford anything elaborate and the friends I’ve made here are a widely interesting and diverse group of people (who I love dearly, but I can’t imagine them all in the same room? :p)
. I do need an accurate set of bathroom scales.
. A cake made by my sister for me, but she’s so far away :((((( even just to SEE her for my birthday would make my day, but sadly nope.
Seriously, I think i might have enough trinkets. Ill never say no to thoughtful and personal gifts in any form at all (I am a sentimental gifts person) I think that I’ve come to an age where I value experiences so much more.
I want to do endless new things I’ve never done before, with people I truly care about and who truly care for me.
I just need to stop letting things stop me.
And I will officially be on my way to 30. You might think I’m getting a bit obsessive about this point… You would be right.
But anyway. I was going to have a party, an amazing steampunk circus themed party with decorations and everyone in cosplay and a photo booth and awesomeness… But I’ve run out of time and money. And don’t really have as many friends here as I thought I’d have by now.
And the only things I really want are a nicer place to rent, to have paid off overdue debts, to have Internet set up, and have flights organised to go north for the weddings in October and November. Of course, pretty things are always welcomed - nay, delighted in! But I’m ready to grow up now, I think, finally.
Twenty six. Bring it on.
You may, like me, find yourself coming to moments of clarity as you go about life. Moments where you suddenly think
*maybe I AM an awfully irritating person*
*maybe people are RIGHT not to like me*
*im awful amd selfish and cant do anything right, no wonder I feel so out of place*
And suddenly the world makes sense, suddenly everywhere you look people are ignoring you, or losing their tempers with you, and you feel lonely and you think
*see, I was right all along*
Well then: you, like me, need to say FUCK THAT NOISE. Because we ARE lovely, fun people, and the more we believe it, the truer it becomes. As long as you show compassion to your fellow human, you are an incredible person, and you need to live that truth.
I just wanna say that today was a day that customers didn’t suck, that I’ve been a cheery, people-loving hospitality worker all week, and these are two things I didn’t think we’re possible.
I had an interview this week too as a finalist for the city’s customer service awards…
And I go back to toowoomba tomorrow for steamfest and for catching up with friends!!!! I’m so excited. And I just managed to pack carry-on for 3days plus a Steampunk costume and it all fit including boots and I’m just really proud of that.
And I’m meditating regularly and I’m trying to make conscious effort to show my appreciation for people and things, and I’m trying not to take life and people so seriously all the time. And finally, I think it’s coming together.